I enjoy reading the thoughts of other bloggers, especially others in the medical field. I have been reading one this morning, Surgeons Blog,that was especially good. He has written a series of post that detail a specific surgery that I especially enjoy. He also writes about death earlier in his blog that struck a note in my mind. Although my current training in medicine is limited to a very small set of actions and treatments that are provided in an emergency, I do have the unfortunate job of witnessing death often. The perspective of a physician seems to be in tune with how I attempt to rationalize death. (In the future after I have completed further medical training I hope to return to this is to see if I was right.) I do feel when my patient's die that I somehow failed them especially when a certain set of skills are "supposed" to make a difference when executed correctly and they do not. It is very difficult, nearly impossible, to not blame oneself in these instances. Unfortunately, the very high turnover or "burnout" rate that is seen in the prehospital health profession can be attributed to the guilt felt when a patient's outcome isn't satisfactory. I can't help but think that a physician must feel the same guilt because death is certainly universal.
As for me, each person that I come in contact with in life is unique whether it is a patient or their family member. In the unfortunate situations I sometimes find myself, I always attempt to explain to the patient and the family as clearly as possible what I believe is happening and the possibilities that can occur. Although I don't always have the luxury of time, as my profession hinges on crisis and not prevention. It would be much more difficult for me to get to know a person and watch them deteriorate slowly over a coarse of care that I had planned. Certainly that will be a tremendous change for me in the future. But for now, I must be content in the fact that life, as a great circle, must be completed by death and sometimes there is no cure or quick treatment. I can only become the best at the small set of skills that I am afforded and make sure that when the call comes I can perform as the patient deserves, flawlessly.
As for me, each person that I come in contact with in life is unique whether it is a patient or their family member. In the unfortunate situations I sometimes find myself, I always attempt to explain to the patient and the family as clearly as possible what I believe is happening and the possibilities that can occur. Although I don't always have the luxury of time, as my profession hinges on crisis and not prevention. It would be much more difficult for me to get to know a person and watch them deteriorate slowly over a coarse of care that I had planned. Certainly that will be a tremendous change for me in the future. But for now, I must be content in the fact that life, as a great circle, must be completed by death and sometimes there is no cure or quick treatment. I can only become the best at the small set of skills that I am afforded and make sure that when the call comes I can perform as the patient deserves, flawlessly.
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